Sinking

My eyes started to gaze downward slowly. I didn't even notice it was happening until he leaned over and extended his shoulder and arm to help prop me up. I was sinking and falling forward into sadness. He lend his strength and just that snapped me out of it.

1/2 Fish

I did my usual jog trail of 3 miles but ended up running a little over 1 mile. It has been about 8 years since I have been able to run. When I jog it's really more like a shuffle. I haven't had the ability in my back and right leg to run. It would require lifting of my right leg which I haven't had access to. I just have been throwing it or dragging it. It felt great to run after all these years. I'd consider this a miracle with the help of a lot of massage, therapy, stretch, continual exercise.

I soaked a pot of dried seaweed to cook. When I reached into the pot to pick out the pieces my body felt an automatic connection to the sea. It's as if I've gone hungry or dying of thirst and the first contact with water or food. May be people had a point when they called me Sandy 1/2 Fish.

Means to Survive

Hung out a bit with Naji today. His name means survive. I thought that was cool. I told him my name comes from Alexander and means strength. He's quite a history buff who is majoring in sociology or anthropology or both. His goal is to train for Golden Gloves in the next two years. Here is his clips on shadow boxing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KycGHK0IRa4

Some times

I went to visit someone going through rough times right now. I really didn't know what I could do to help her. I had many things in my mind in terms of ideas. But when I got there I realized some times the best thing you can do for someone going through traumatic rough times is... wash their dishes, clean their house, take out the trash, pour them a cup of tea, stock their fridge and be a good pleasant company. Don't tell that person what's wrong with them and how they need to fix it from my point of view. Some times, good company is all one needs to warm up the heart and the house that seems to be in the cold dark ages.

Cringe

Today I came across someone I used to work with and it all came back; the tensing of the body, the shortness of breath, the cringe in the stomach. It all came back in that flash and then I remember that today was October 4, 2008. I remembered it has been years since I worked at that job. I remembered I no longer work with this person who would call me whenever to yell at me and tell me how stupid I was and blame me for everything. I remembered I am not a punching bag or a trash can for this person any more. I remembered that was why I stopped working at that job. And when I remembered all of this,... I remembered I was happy and my body stopped tensing up. I could breath again.