Day 7
The Chan Hall was full on the women’s side. It was a beautiful sight and the sound of
ceremony resonating out into nature of early dawn felt homey. Silver was outside and walked me down to the
Can. He marked his pee all over the
trail. I watched his hips move in pain
but his tail swung side to side happily.
Side to side motion is where his strength is now. His ears flapped up and curled down the front
part way, signs of happiness of a dog. I
have a feeling this might be his last year as Silver of Buddha Root Farm the
beloved dog. With this thought, my eyes
burned with hot tears as we walked together.
Myra and James both made pancakes, they are professional
pancake makers I’d say and they were happy serving the pancakes.
This morning’s lecture, Rev. Heng Sure shared the story
of Shr Fu’s disciple back in China by the name of Dharma Master Heng Zhuo. When the government’s military came, he set
himself on fire. How his physical form
retained even after the flames were gone.
The official came to check the phenomenon out. As soon as he touched the form, it all fell
into ashes. Shr Fu said he had already
left his body before it was on fire.
That’s freedom and control in my opinion. Our modern culture is obsessed with freedom
and control hoping the answer to happiness lies there. This kind of freedom and self control looks
pretty good to me.
Lunch was at 11:45am, super late. I hope to do better tomorrow. I felt like I didn’t quit the have the
kitchen down in terms of organization for delegating work that is appropriate
to the volunteer skill set. Not everyone
knows how to watch vegetables or cut them.
And those who do, may not have the speed be able to quickly produce food
for the 97 of us in 90 minutes. People
sincerely helped in the kitchen. I have
to adjust to where everyone is within their conditions.
Kitchen is such a social area too. Food is a social activity. It is a healing medicine. Food and kitchen where the fire, hearth is,
is a gathering that bonds relationships and communities. In the same time it is where the knife is and
things can go either way. Kitchen can
often be a battle zone for families and a community.
Some people come to the kitchen for solidarity, unity,
relationship, validation, acknowledgement, and some just come to work to get
things done quietly. It’s different
every year. It’s different everyday and
every meal. I just have to work around
it all and I first have to pay attention to these elements so meals can be
served on time so that the retreat can move forward smoothly.
The lectures were awesome. The enthusiasm to lecture was wonderful. I find it amazing that 7 nuns and 3 monks are
here with all of us to support this retreat.
The good chi was felt in my upper chakras. I felt more in tuned to everything and
adjusted the menu for the rest of the retreat.
We have a handful of ten to eleven year old kids this
year and they really look forward to the puppet story time. I am amazed the kids actually paid attention,
listened in on the lecture and asked questions.
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I jumped on the truck to head down to the Can after
lecture. I wanted to organize things so
I can delegate work. I am hoping there
will be more efficiency and I wanted to make sure everything is put away for
the night to avoid encouraging four legged friends to visit at night.
At 10pm I began mixing waffle batter, good thing I had an
electric mixer to work with. I began
making waffles at 10:30pm. It took me 45
minutes to make 80 pieces of waffles from 20 cakes. I feel really rejuvenated when I get to work
quietly on my own. I feel the rhythm and
the zone, it’s like a meditation, there is silence within in. I feel great, not tired or this and
that.
Marion Kwan saw me make waffles late at night and really
wanted to help. But there really wasn’t
much for anyone else to do. We just have
one waffle iron, it just takes one person.
But she wanted to show her support and went around the dinning hall
filling up napkins etc… I was moved by
her good intentions. It really warmed my
heart and physically opened up my chest.
What a healing!
I showered at 11:15pm, shut the place down, walked out of
the Can and saw Silver walk out to the road, looked towards Matt’s trailer and
then he turned around and walked me up to the Buddha Hall. He’d sit and lay as he waited for me to catch
up on the hill. I’d stop and wait for
him as he hung out and sniffed this or that and pee on the trial. It was interesting actually as we took turns
to wait for each other. It was a silent
understanding, a supportive respectful relationship between us. No hug, no pets, not even treats from me, and
at his old age definitely no game in playing catch. Silver was happy to lead like a dog and show
me the way. I didn’t want him to have to
climb this hill in his condition but he did.
We parted at the meadow in front of the Chan Hall.
I came back to
camp drenched from my slow hike. I was
tired and awake at the same time. It was
a chilly night but I was warm in my tent that is insulated in protection by nature. Laying in my tent I felt grateful to be of
service and stepping up to this calling.
Yet in the same time I felt an internal need to find time and space for
more solitude and deepen my own practice.
