So many things traumatize me. I freak out over so many things and I become so easily overwhelmed, immobilized, paralyzed .
Why does the room spin when I try to memorize things? Is it the content or the activity of memorizing? This has been the case since I can remember. So I like to memorize things laying down, the room does not spin so much. But I run into the risk of falling asleep.
Everything felt so much safer, calmer when I opened the Surangama Sutra. All these images of threats, abuse, fear, anger, rage, violence flashed one after another and was arousing tension. What the healing would heal? It could heal all these past and past life pains. It could end the terror and the threats.
