Tonight's talk at Teance was about Siblings. Rev. Heng Sure brought his new additions, Hand Puppets to portray Buddhist stories. These puppets were really well made. There was a crowd of 33 people tonight. We all managed to fit comfortably. The tiger is also part of the puppet addition, I can't wait for her to make an appearance, her name is Ginger.
It was great to see Jamal, Brendhoan, Chris and their sisters. They dashed over after their band practice. Emily and Jonas was there too and they are getting married in May. I hope to catch up with them soon, the last time we got together was in October.
Siblings, I am the youngest of four kids in the family. When we were little we had an understanding that the power needs to be even. So when we fought, it really didn't matter what side or issue you were on, the balance of 2 against 2 was enforced silently. It was a way of sibling support. Fights were never about physically harming another, but throwing and breaking things were okay. There were holes in walls and doors. When all was done 30 minutes to 2 or 3 hours of heated fights, done is done, move on, still lingering, well, fight's over missed your chance. We were pretty good sport about this and when eruptions were over we were all cool. Such fights were in the teenage years, it must come with the teens. When any one of us was attacked by a parent, we would unit and stand by each other, it would be four on one. The funny thing was, it was like that, out parents can do that but when someone else on the outside was to do that we stood as a family. As adults, we don't fight, somehow it hurts. Somehow it becomes complicated. It doesn't end like it used to, cleanly and it just isn't over. So we don't fight, because it hurts. The function of releasing steam seems to burn each other, this tool is no longer useful as adults.
On my brother as a sibling, he used his first pay check, after working in an arcade for a month with minimum wage $3-4, can't remember, he cashed the whole thing to buy me birthday present. It was his first pay check ever. I woke up middle of the night to pee and saw two medium sized Gund Teddy Bears from Macy's sitting in front of my door step, pink and cream. They were cute, soft, fluffy, cuddly. Honestly, I really wanted them. In those days, you give people you care about Gund Teddy Bears, a pair. They were $60 each, totally over priced, over rated and this was in the 80's. It's still a lot of money for Teddy Bears at today price too. I hugged them all night and made a strong case to why I can't keep those bears that I had been window shopping at, of which he knew I really wanted. It was his entire first pay check that he worked everyday after school for. I couldn't let him not have any of it. So I persuaded him that I had too many stuffed animals and I didn't need two more and that I wasn't too crazy about them anyways and I insist he returns them. He tried to convince me to keep one. I braved and had him return both. The thought and the surprised was priceless and more precious and dear to my heart than the actual Teddy Bears themselves. A few years later when he was in college and had a better job, he got me a credit card to use in high school and all the way to college. He didn't judge me on what I spent my money on. As long as it wasn't over $300. a month he wouldn't meet with me on it. Even when it did, he politely questioned whether it was necessary and let me know that was a bit over the top in spending for a high schooler in the 90's. When I took many years off from wedding photography and running my own business, he tried to encourage me to return to my passionate photography work by wanting to buy me a Canon Mark II 5D. The body is like three grand alone. Business is really slow these days economy is not on the up and I couldn't let him fork out that kind of money. Still the heart and thought was radiating with warmth.
On sisters for siblings. I have two sisters, Helen and Grace. Grace is the oldest and we are seven years apart. She was like my personal angel. She never yelled at me or scolded me or put me down. When she went out on dates she took me with her. Her boyfriend would buy me presents too. I was not the third wheel. I did not asked to be tagged along, I was always naturally included. Where ever she was she would send me gift wrapped presents from college or Japan. She is a great shopper and some how always find beautiful quality things that I would like for me. I'm not a great shopper.
Helen is my other sister who is number 3 in line. When I was little she was my hair stylist every day. She did pretty things with my hair and took really good care of me. I was her personal pet and doll. As adults we enjoy discovering new places to eat, jogging, crafts, and outdoors together.
My siblings have been impressed by how I treat, take care, nurture and love their children, my 3 nieces and 3 nephew, 6 in all. What they may not recall is everything they've shown me, given me, I return to their children because I learned it from them.
I guess I can't leave out my parents, there is a lot to say but for now, just this, my parents have a strong sense of family. In fact they have not much of religious practice. Family is their religion. This is what they have taught me. Anybody you consider as family, you don't resent, you forgive because they are family. People go through dark moments in life, it is a part of life, see the sunshine in them, never forget and be patient and wait for the clouds and storm to blow over, the sun is still beautifully there and worth the patience of waiting and time.
I have wonderful siblings and parents.
