I dreamed a big river strong iron man kind of spirit challenged me by engulfing me. It was able to wrap around me. It's not the kind of ghost that just sits on you and weights you down. I wasn't in pain. there was pressure in breathing. I tried to put my palms together but had trouble with closing the palms fully. I was about a foot apart. There was a lot of force from him against it. This was challenge of strength and not fight. I was impatient and bored and decided to recite Guan Yin Bodhisattva's name for relief and it let free of me and went on its way back on the river.
I realized that I don't actually have any patience in relying on my own strength because I haven't explored my own strength. I actually don't know my own strength. I have gone so long cruising and depending on others and cashing in every opportunity I can that I have been dependent and lazy.
