Just Walk Away


Day 14 Snowboarding 2011 Season
I got up at 6:30am and was ready to go by 7:30am, I loaded my car and was done by 8am. The men shoveled the driveway. I had lentil soup for breakfast. All cars decided on not putting on chains. Hiroshi helped to roll my car down the hill on first gear without snow chains for that turn onto Heavenly parking lot. He pumped the breaks to roll down the hill. I am grateful he helped to roll my car. My car was parked at Heavenly parking lot at 9am.  The lot was all covered in ice. Kotaro’s family also went to Heavenly with their season pass. The rest went to return the keys to the rental office and checkout of the contract. They planned to stop at Sierra and try that ski resort today.

Admiring my nails done by Miki.

I had a good 3 hour run today. It was fun, smooth, good rhythm and it was a beautiful sunny 40 degree day, talk about warm and fast melting snow. Powder was better yesterday. I have been so spoiled. I enjoyed my snacks of rice cracker and chocolate. It was a beautiful clear day in the mountains.

Toasted corn tortillas on the dash, it didn't really work, it just wasn't hot enough. 
What is clear to me from today is this very important step, I acknowledge I am very sensitive. I find many things traumatic. This is what I must correct. I fill up the trauma with busy-ness, hoping it will resolve itself some miraculous ways and pretending it didn’t happen and it won’t again. None of it is true, I am just building a city of lies I put myself in to live in. I just have to stay away from all of this and respect myself, honor myself, and say, “I count,” and walk away.