Snowboarding Day 22 Season 2011
I woke up at 5:11am and stayed in be until 5:48am. I felt emotionally unhappy from all the drama of yesterday. I decided I would skip breakfast and hair to save time, yet somehow I didn’t roll off until 6:48am. I ended up toasting tortilla and smearing it with guacamole for breakfast food.
The drive was like this, “Maybe I’ll just do one day. Maybe I’ll just turn around and come back, etc..” I was still totally sabotaging myself.
I think I saw 5 sets of cops on I280 to I50 all clocking speed. I am glad I am on a regular mode of driving controlled by the age and conditions of this car.
I needed gas and to shop at Safeway and used the restroom. I pulled over at El Dorodo Hills and checked out oranges. Ed the produce stocker pointed out the strawberries are at buy one get two free and it comes out to $1.33 per box. It was only by chatting with Ed that I noticed how dazed and lost I was and I have been driving two and half hours this way. Ed insisted I try the strawberries and I did, they were super sweet. The texture was rough not tender but the flavor was there. I tried to pick out strawberries but I felt so lost somehow. Ed kept on trying to offer help and I finally gave in and acknowledge I needed help with something so trivial as picking out strawberries. That was how it was and it was okay. Ed picked out three boxes of strawberries for me and I felt relieved that he was there to help me on such simple task that I couldn’t seem to manage for myself somehow. Ed was kind, not sticky or judgmental or dumping toxic poison onto me. I also needed help to pick out oranges for juicing. I realized from watching Ed pick each item of fruit out for me that this ordeal was more about having me watch Ed and the work he performs. I saw myself in him, the joy of simplicity. It was comforting to be with Ed. It was comforting to reconnect with this, with me. I have been so fatigued, I felt my body inflamed and on fire in pain. I so need this vacation.
The last 60 miles of mountain drive was bare, there was no snow decorating the mountains and trees. I was a bit worried about the snow condition. I decided regardless of my worries I will make the best of it. I made it to Heavenly parking lot at noon. There was plenty of parking. I could see the slush on the slope. The snow slush was brown. I could see some of the bare mountain. It was hot in the parking lot and so I left my mask in the car which turned out to be a big mistake with 60mph wind that picked up at 1pm. I was cold. I wore the lavender zip liner, I also left the blue long insulated layer in the car thinking I wouldn't need it. I don’t mind slush, I prefer it to ice.
On the slopes, there was very little traffic, it was fast and easy to get down. I was on the lift chair over and over again. At 1:30pm I decided I wanted to work on tricks, I wanted to work on jumps and hops. I tumbled and tumbled and fell. My bum really hurts and my back too. I am so glad I didn’t abandon my helmet. I would say the helmet is like the life jacket on water, never abandon it even if you know how to swim.
Through this process, I really found my enthusiasm for life and living. I like to have fun and learn the same time. This felt right and I felt great.
I sat a little just to clear my head. The clouds moved in for tonight’s rain and I asked the rain to wash my troubles away.
In the evening I watched the Celtics play against the Nicks, it was a great game that came down to 2 points. I had bread and tea for dinner.
I woke up at 5:11am and stayed in be until 5:48am. I felt emotionally unhappy from all the drama of yesterday. I decided I would skip breakfast and hair to save time, yet somehow I didn’t roll off until 6:48am. I ended up toasting tortilla and smearing it with guacamole for breakfast food.
The drive was like this, “Maybe I’ll just do one day. Maybe I’ll just turn around and come back, etc..” I was still totally sabotaging myself.
I think I saw 5 sets of cops on I280 to I50 all clocking speed. I am glad I am on a regular mode of driving controlled by the age and conditions of this car.
I needed gas and to shop at Safeway and used the restroom. I pulled over at El Dorodo Hills and checked out oranges. Ed the produce stocker pointed out the strawberries are at buy one get two free and it comes out to $1.33 per box. It was only by chatting with Ed that I noticed how dazed and lost I was and I have been driving two and half hours this way. Ed insisted I try the strawberries and I did, they were super sweet. The texture was rough not tender but the flavor was there. I tried to pick out strawberries but I felt so lost somehow. Ed kept on trying to offer help and I finally gave in and acknowledge I needed help with something so trivial as picking out strawberries. That was how it was and it was okay. Ed picked out three boxes of strawberries for me and I felt relieved that he was there to help me on such simple task that I couldn’t seem to manage for myself somehow. Ed was kind, not sticky or judgmental or dumping toxic poison onto me. I also needed help to pick out oranges for juicing. I realized from watching Ed pick each item of fruit out for me that this ordeal was more about having me watch Ed and the work he performs. I saw myself in him, the joy of simplicity. It was comforting to be with Ed. It was comforting to reconnect with this, with me. I have been so fatigued, I felt my body inflamed and on fire in pain. I so need this vacation.
The last 60 miles of mountain drive was bare, there was no snow decorating the mountains and trees. I was a bit worried about the snow condition. I decided regardless of my worries I will make the best of it. I made it to Heavenly parking lot at noon. There was plenty of parking. I could see the slush on the slope. The snow slush was brown. I could see some of the bare mountain. It was hot in the parking lot and so I left my mask in the car which turned out to be a big mistake with 60mph wind that picked up at 1pm. I was cold. I wore the lavender zip liner, I also left the blue long insulated layer in the car thinking I wouldn't need it. I don’t mind slush, I prefer it to ice.
On the slopes, there was very little traffic, it was fast and easy to get down. I was on the lift chair over and over again. At 1:30pm I decided I wanted to work on tricks, I wanted to work on jumps and hops. I tumbled and tumbled and fell. My bum really hurts and my back too. I am so glad I didn’t abandon my helmet. I would say the helmet is like the life jacket on water, never abandon it even if you know how to swim.
Through this process, I really found my enthusiasm for life and living. I like to have fun and learn the same time. This felt right and I felt great.
I sat a little just to clear my head. The clouds moved in for tonight’s rain and I asked the rain to wash my troubles away.
In the evening I watched the Celtics play against the Nicks, it was a great game that came down to 2 points. I had bread and tea for dinner.
