Yesturday on the bus ride out of Huang Long, the views of the icy mountains along with flocks of geese, herds of mountain goats, yaks, and sheep made a picturesque impression into my memory bank. The driver picked up more riders on the road to increase his pocket money. The riders were locals of Tibetan origin. They were two women dressed in their traditional Tibetan robes. Their hair was dressed in Tibetan stones and braided accordingly.
As the women got on to the bus, the rest of the inner Chinese tourists on the bus pinched their nose with their hands and turned their face towards the window showing disgust and disapproval. I didn’t think they smelled that bad, they just smelled like yak butter. What I found to be more interested was the need to make a show of social disapproval towards these two ladies. Even the bus driver who decided to pick them up did the same by yelling at them with his body language and talking harshly like they were despicable. I thought to myself how interesting it is that people would like this culture to be preserved to hang onto a kind of nostalgia a romantic notion of a time, a place, and of the past. But when people are inconvenienced, then the reality presents itself clearly.
As we got off the bus, we paired up with a family of 5 from Guang Dong to look for housing for the night. One man in their group was a police officer. I seem to be making friends with police officers all over China in this trip. We settled for a hotel across from the station. We wanted something close by so that when we all had to get up for the first bus out the next day, it would be effortless and we wouldn’t miss out bus.
That night in dinner, Du wanted to eat freshly killed fish and so he did ordered catfish knowing full well I was a vegetarian and had lots of fish for pets when I was a child. So I watched him eat while I munched on toasted soy and peanuts. That could have been a pet fish of mine.
During dinner, Du got very angry on the topic of politics. He refuses to get off the subject and insist I compare US and inland, inland and neighboring island etc... I really don't like that stuff. He needed me to convince him that inland China is good and that he shouldn't move to US. That all various oppression, lack of opportunity to explore, expand his personal interest due to culture, governing style of inland etc..... has logic and a place and is good. He needed me to assure him how corrupt, terrible the rest of the world is. That by meeting me, inspired him, enraged him, disturbed him, and that I am an idiot really. That I really don't represent missed opportunities and freedoms he never got to experience and will not.
Du is quite an intellectual brain, a graduate of Beijing University, who does not allow himself to explore deeper within himself because he doesn't know how to go about making peace with all the disconnects and discrepancies. He continued with his drama the rest of the night by yelling at the service workers at the hotel, accusing them of lying to him and that he can't stand lairs. He basically need to dump his garbage on someone and he took it out on peon workers.
On route to Chengdu. Knowing full well that it would be a full day of ride on the bus, I had a big bowl of noodles and pickled vegetables by the station. Last night I slept in blankets that were damp. I was cold at night. Failing after a few hours of trying to warm up the bed with my body and a bed heater that didn't work, I had to resort to sitting in full lotus to mass fire up my body, slip into the bed to warm up the bed in order to trick my body into thinking it is okay to fall asleep under such conditions.
On the bus ride, Du asked me who or what made contribution to life changes within me. I named lots of people in varying fields including two Chinese people Ven. Empty Clould and Ven. Hsuan Hua, both of which he has never heard. I introduced the Tripitika to him, telling him as a Chinese major, he'd appreciate the beauty of classical Chinese in there and to make sure to get the real stuff and not 100 volumes chopped down into 1 kind of versions.
This again disturbed him, there are things he didn't know and I did and I am some how not suppose to in his eye somehow. Du thought JK Rowling is lame and Harry Potter is for immature people who lacked depth. He didn't understand the Da Vinci Code and the impact of the subject on a large population on this planet. He also didn't get Lord of the Rings. My discussions with him, because he asked for my opinion, included my perspective as a psychology major and a Buddhist interest looking at character growth and mind had disturbed him more and frustrated him. How could he a very well learned person, a Chinese major, a bookworm, a literature addict not know everything there is to know? How could his perspective be so un-universal?
Du the shifted the topic and wanted me to understand the pressure and distress in his life about work, and being single is a sign of lack of success. I thought to myself, “OH! Please, get over it, or get married and then continue to pretend to feel better as the head of household in charge and in control.
