Dongcun International Youth Hostel

On our way back to Lhasa I noticed our driver had a serious face on. I later learned that the car had brake trouble and he drove carefully and slowly. On the journey back to Lhasa, we saw two trekking cars who had flipped over and one break down.

I was quiet on the whole road trip back into town. The conversations were on politics, national security, personal security, etc… I really didn’t care for the subject. I really didn’t have information to add to the conversation. I learned a lot by listening. Somehow my group was not comfortable with my silence. During a scenic pee break, Stef inquired in. I just told the truth, I had nothing to contribute to the conversation. It was completely out of my league.

We all agreed to check into a new hostel called Lhasa Dong Cuo International Youth Hostel and it had nicer accommodation and the internet cafe is 3yuan per hour, .5yuan cheaper than the other. We decided that since we roughed it for a week that we would get double standard rooms. Rupert and I shared a room with a built in shower and toilet. It was quite a luxury compared to what we have been doing all week long. It even had a water heater in the room. The room was even heated and it had a TV. My goodness, what a step up for 60 yuan a person, this was one of the travel with companion perks.

We ended up going to a Korean place for dinner. We picked it because it was right next door. Afterwards I returned to the internet café and as it turned out the lady who worked at the reception was the daughter of the elder Tibetan lady on the train that I wanted so much to see again. This daughter when I first showed up at the café was the one who was glued to the screen on some soap opera and had me wait for her until she got to a right climatic point in her series to stop so that I can be served. She was totally zoned out, into the screen. Her mother identified me as I walked out right before dinner but I didn’t see her because I was in a rush. She was going to take me home to see her mother because her mother wanted to see me. Her mother got off the train and raved about meeting me and what I nice person I was. But she didn't get off till 10:30pm and I didn’t want to walk home by myself at night in the dark. I also figured that her mom would be asleep that late at night. It was late and I made an appointment to meet in the morning instead. I wanted to bring my camera in daylight to take photos of her. What a wonderful surprise to come across this elder again.

Checkout Complications

This morning I checked out of the Pentoc Guesthouse that I have been staying in all week. I went to the reception and the housekeeper called to flag my checkout. She said a bed cover was missing and that I was responsible for it. I told her I don’t have a bed cover in my pack that it was already missing when I checked in. That they can search my pack if they wanted to but clearly my pack was too small to stuff the bed cover in any ways. After a few minutes of debating, I convinced them I didn’t have a dirty old bed cover in my backpack. I insisted this was not my problem and that I should be allowed to check out and get my deposit back. In truth, it was just too early in the morning to be turning all those gears in the head to deal with this.

Refused of Breakfast Service

I went for breakfast across the hotel. The owner said they have everything. Then when I stepped in with all my luggage to sit down she refused my service and said she had nothing. I asked for porridge and she said she didn’t serve any meanwhile a customer was chowing way with one in front of us with delicious pickled vegetables as side dish. I looked at the guy eating in front of me, he started to draw his head down and eat real fast probably hoping I would leave him out of this. I walked out of there without food. I didn’t get breakfast, I went on an empty stomach.

Gratitude Session

This morning I dreamed I was at a gathering and I was the host and it was at my place. Debbie’s son approached me and thanked me for taking care of his mother while she visited last. He said it was very healing for her and they were all grateful. Soon the activity of the room turned into a gratitude session.

Vajra Protectors

Last night I had the entire room to myself. Stefanie got in touch with her friend and moved to another hostel where her friend was. I spent 3 hours rearranging my pack and getting myself ready for the trek.

I had trouble sleeping because I was scared and this affected my breathing. There were lots of snakes slithering all around me. I starred at the ceiling to calm myself down. I then tilted my head back to help open my air channels to take deeper breathes. I saw four Vajra Dharma Protectors standing over my head and scaring the being off. My heart raced like I was running, I was nervous, and I could not calm myself down. Then an army of warriors showed up to form a fence of protection around me. They were in brown, black, and purple.

It was a relief to see them. I didn’t know they were around. Then I thought, “Have you guys always been around the whole time?..... Gee, if that’s the case, I’m sorry for all the times I created trouble and did stupid things. Sorry to put you all through that.”

Saved by My Precept Bubble

This morning after tea and oatmeal for breakfast in my room I decided to rest some more and head out when lunch time came around. I saw a man with white eyes and he was black and grey. He was cold, his eyes had light of a cold high beam. It did not shine forth warm sunshine. He used them as scanner scanning for people. His eyes scanned onto me and the light hit my bubble but it only saw darkness. He didn’t see me. I instantly knew somehow without a doubt that this bubble that was protecting me was my precept bubble. What is a Buddhist Precept Bubble? I didn’t know I even had one until now. Behind him were men who looked like worker soldiers on a mission. As they passed by I saw they were working for a female snake of desire. They were all in her troop, and together they all formed the shape of the female snake. What a sight. They were looking for people for her to eat so she can lay her eggs into people and her babies would hatch in time and live off the people.

Keep Me Company

I dreamed this morning that I was at my friend’s house and people were watching a movie. It was late and I wanted to go home but no one wanted to part with all the fun they were having and I didn’t want to pull anyone way from the party. So I decided to walk in the dark knowing it would take me hours to walk the cold mountain road home.

I started to skip, hop, dance, and walk on the road towards home. I came across a father on a bike and his beautiful curly platinum blond toddler daughter on the back seat. She saw me and screamed at her father to stop so she could get off the bike and walk with me to keep me company. I told her it was late, dark, and cold that she should follow her father’s instructions. She held my hand and insisted on supporting what I was doing by keeping me company.

Rebelling Against a Dream

This morning I dreamed I was in a Chinese nunnery and I was reciting Samadhabadra's Bodhisattva’s name and the nun there wouldn't let me and forced me to only recite Guan Yin Bodhisattva’s name. So when I woke up, I recited all the names I could think of. I didn't think Guan Yin Bodhisattva would be jealous. I quickly ran through my short list fast so I repeated it a few times. I think I should know more.

Pre Trekking Details on Trekking in Tibet

How to go about trekking in Tibet? In Lhasa there are many official outfitters in just about every other shop you can come across. They will have the official symbol on the sign. First of all, the route of the trek needs to be agreed on, the number of days, sights to stop at, and the price. Does the price include food and lodging? Better to not then you can pick and choose as you go and like because you really don’t know what you will be getting. Then checking out the make of the vehicle, how old is it and how are the suspensions and breaks. Meet with the driver to make sure you will like his company. Check his face for signs of having habits of drinking too much alcohol. How many accidents has he been in and does he like his job? Is there an oxygen tank in the car? Permits, depending on where you are going will take one to four days for approval.

Outfitters are responsible for reimbursing you when trek changes due to poor weather conditions or vehicle problems. Any change in the itinerary after the contract is signed results in costly add-on. The rates are competitive, ask around and make sure the total amount of days on the trek and final sale price are the same in each outfitter. Some may give you the same rate but in fine print referring to 5 days of trekking instead of 7.

Brian decided he was physically not well enough to travel and would like to leave Tibet soon to reunite with his girlfriend in Taiwan. Nate and Stef are still in the group and we are looking for a fourth person to split the cost. We were told to cut the cost even more we can have a fifth person who can sit in the trunk space of the 4X4. I stated that I would not rotate myself to the trunk and would prefer four instead of five. If there was to be a fifth person then I am not going into the trunk on our one week trek.

We have decided to do Everest and x Kilash off. We will all be returning to Lhasa afterwards. Nate and Stef decided they would not go to Kathmandu after Everest because they have two entry Visa and would like to go to Hong Kong for the second entry usage back into China afterwards. Stef is also a vegetarian so we will both be eating the same food since I will most likely be ordering for the both of us. We are set to depart on Saturday morning returning on Thursday.

In our group we have assembled supplies we would share. A gas stove to heat water for coffee and tea at a scenic spot of our choice. Instant noodles, crackers, fruits, other snacks were a must for such a road trip.

Kindness the Universal Language

On the way out I saw a Tibetan boy looking out towards the mountains waiting for the rest of his family to exit the palace. I pointed my finger to him and then to my camera signaling I would like his permission to photograph him. My finger quickly clicked away on the shutter as he allowed his complex emotions to arise all in a matter of a few minutes. He switched expressions of shyness to silliness, then happiness to somberness. He was cute and lively.

His family joins him and asked for their photographs to be taken. His a man wanted to use my camera to photograph. I don’t think he has used a camera before. It brought the family so much joy to use the camera and have their photographs taken. It didn’t matter that they would never see the actual photographs. So I let the man have fun with my camera. He insisted on taking a photograph of me. Trying to show him how to focus through hand signals would be too much of a fuss and would ruin the fun of the time so I preset the my SLR camera for him but he kept moving around, it will definitely result in out of focus photo.

I wanted to hand something to the boy to thank him for allowing me to photograph him. I pulled out my precious delicious apple out of my pack and handed it to him. He took it was so much joy and pride that he skipped and hopped around and showed it off to his family playfully.

This family decided to take me in as one of their own and made sure I didn’t slip and fall down the hill or get too far behind. They walked with me and watched over me. That was nice of them. We chatted the whole way. I spoke Mandarin and they spoke Tibetan, we didn’t understand each other’s language but we laughed the entire time and enjoyed each others company as if we did understand each other.

Professional Laundry Service in China

The weather here in Lhasa would take days for my laundry to dry so yesterday I went for professional service. I turned in my laundry one of two sets I brought, the other one was on my body.

I went to pick up my laundry and for a long time they couldn't find my clothes. I was not going to be happy about this I thought to myself. I only brought two sets of clothes and that was one of them. One of the shirts is not replaceable here because it has special pocket with a special zipper for my special cannot loose items that I wear on my body at all times even to bed. It took four people including myself in this tinny little laundry place to locate my stuff.

The laundry system in Lhasa goes like this. I was charged by number of items and the kinds of items. I hand them money and they hand me a slip of paper. My clothes are tracked by numbers sown onto my articles because it all goes into one big pile along with everyone else’s clothes into one big washer and dryer.

Some places refuses to take socks and underwear. Some places charge by weighing your clothes. Most common practice when picking up your laundry at promised time and date is, “Oh it’s not ready, can you come back later, how about tomorrow.”

Paying the Local Price as a Foreign Tourist in China

Last night I went to bed at 10:30pm and stayed in bed till 10:30am this morning. I felt very tired, I think it’s about getting acclimated. I got up and meditated for awhile. That was nice.

A new roommate named Stefanie showed up from Montreal, Canada. She flew in and was having trouble acclimating. She also hasn’t slept in the past three days because she was partying with friends in a youth hostel in Chengdu, Sichuan. I showed her around town and ordered eggplant noodles for her. She shared her Lonely Planet guide with me but it was in French. She needed a day pack and we went shopping. I haggled with the teenaged boy at the North Face backpack vendor stall and we settle on 60 yuan as the final price.

I have learned that when there is no sticker tagged to the item then it’s 50% off the verbal calling price for foreign tourist and then take another 20 yuan off on top of that. This is the local price. To get the local price you have to do the math at the above equation in your mind and start your haggle at 30% off the local price and negotiate your way to the local price for the final purchase price. I have found most of the time I am able to get within 20 yuan of the local price. The locals will give you the local price if you know it on the mark. Otherwise, you will loose the negotiation because he will know you don’t know, laugh at you and kick you out of his shop. Some people will get mad that I know the local price and still kick me out of their shop and scold me. Bartering can be a fun art when it is understood that you haggle as a way of doing business.

Pizza Dough Mind

This morning while in bed, staring at the ceiling, thoughts ran through my mind. I asked myself, “What am I doing in Tibet? What pulled me back into this foreign land that feels so much like home? What happened in the past? What’s going on now?” I started to cry and I couldn’t stop.

In the past I was a Tibetan girl who had to be married off to a neighboring country to help keep the peace in the border. I was treated terribly and only thoughts of joys of life in Tibet kept me sane. Out of deep grief, pain, sadness, and despair I longed to return to Tibet.

Hundreds of years and countless lifetimes later, today I am back in Tibet. I asked myself, “What’s the use now?” I needed to return to heal back then. This medicine I had prayed for then, I needed it then, but conditions didn’t allow me to receive it till now. What’s the use now? I cried because I was so tired. I was so tired of this cycle.

My body felt light as a feather floating in space, drifting and in the same time melting into cracks of earth. I felt my mind was like a pizza dough being pulled, stretched, pounded in all directions in different shapes and forms. It was all too much.

Everything I ask for I get. Every thought I give birth to takes on life of its own. It is too late once it starts. The seed will sprout on its own time according to its own conditions. There is nothing and no one to resent. I get everything I asked for. Everything that comes my way, I have asked for in the past. There is no one to point the finger at other than me, within.

I prayed and asked Samadhabadra Bodhisattva for guidance. Having this awareness and being able to actually stop these future cycles are two very different things. I think I understand and I think I don’t. Out of frustration I continued to cry.

Modern Lhasa and the Future of Tibetan Culture

I slept in a room with a guy from the corn field of Ohio by Toledo who left this morning for Kathmandu, Nepal via Everest. Last night he handed me his trekking book for Tibet to pass on but when I woke up this morning it was gone, I guess he changed his mind and realized he was not ready to part with it yet. He did leave his two trekking poles. I now have the whole room to myself. Unfortunately the instant noodles he left were not vegetarian. I had thoughts about trading it for something I can eat with someone else.

I had oatmeal with raisins, bannana, walnut, no dairy powder for breakfast this morning. It was soooooo satisfying. I think I may add hot coco to my list if I come across good hot coco. But they are mostly generic kinds nothing really coco-y. Yup, I have been spoiled in Berkeley with all sorts of fair-trade, organic, etc... dark chocolate coco. This isn't a nutrient necessity item but more on the fun list.

I have learned to slow down and stroll to adjust to faster heart rate in this elevation. It's nice as long as I don’t run or talk too fast. Yes the thermos I picked up were really worth it. It's very cold when I am not standing in the sun but under the sun, I only needed to wear a t-shirt because it is hot, such a wide range of temperature.

I didn't get into Potola Palace today. It was sold out. I had to learn about the process in getting a ticket into the Palace. First I have to go to a window before 10am to get a reservation number. This number places me in a line in an order fashion. Then I have to return in 11:30am to get into a line formation according to my number. When it is my turn, I will get a reserved ticket with entry time after I show them my ID. This ticket then allows me to buy a ticket at the Palace at my designated time. So I don’t have a ticket in my hand. I only have a reservation number and time. My time for the Palace is 3pm. It's quite late. I had an earlier number to get in line to get a wait number but I didn't line up right and ended up in back of line. It's okay even if it is so late. This means I can sleep in a bit later. I hear only a 1/4 part of the palace is opened to the public.

As I walked to the Potola Place this morning I thought about the changes in Tibet. What's right and what's wrong. What's good and what's bad. The inner Chinese tell me how well the government is taking care of Tibetans, giving them this and that. As I walked in the touristy town of Lhasa, I see a modern city. Is it for the betterment of the people to live in apartments with running water, electricity, toilets? They are told to leave the mountains and live in Lhasa. What consist of a culture? Is it in the clothing? The language? The hairstyle? What is being lost in Lhasa? What is being lost in Modernization? What is Tibetan culture that needs to be preserved? What can be modernized? What would make all of this a happy marriage of cultures and raising the future child called Tibet?

Foreigners tell me how cool it is to travel alone and meet different people. Because I am not in a group people approach me and I get to meet a lot of people. I tell them, there is also lack of sharing of cost with others in cars and hotel rooms when dorm beds are unavailable. I also mentioned because I am alone, I am more vulnerable to different situations. Call it adventure, call it risky? It depends on your perspective. The inner Chinese cannot believe I am on my own and some worry for me and take care of me. Last night and today I had noodles with vegetables in soy sauce broth. I also helped myself to the service kitchen and made my own dipping sauce. I got dipping noodles, vegetables and soup all in one. People have been nice about letting me help myself to sauces and as a customer being near to the kitchens. It's been good. Some people I've come across, trys so hard to make my dish perfect that they end up screwing it up anyways.

I met a man named Brian from Texas who worked in Santa Clara for 6 years. He's going to quite his job where he feels undervalued and appreciated as a human being. So he is out to start his own software company. He has only parted from his Taiwanese girlfriend for 4 days and he's puppy sick. I told him that was wimpy, months I can understand but 4 days? He said he went to Shaolin Monastery and did 3 days of training there. He said he was sore and there were a few females training and all were too young for him. I thought to myself, "wait a minute, don't you already have a girlfriend of two years?" He is having trouble acclimating in Lhasa, he flew in and is underdressed and refuses to buy a jacket. He tends to interpret people’s interaction with him as others mistreating him. That's too bad that his world is lived this way.

I am learning from other foreign travelers that it’s quite a fad to do a retreat in Shaolin for 3 days or 7 days. People really like to have that in their China trip experience to talk about. Its like cool or something.

I also came across the Colorado couple who I met on the train and we talked about the possibility of doing treks together. I proposed heading all the way to Mt. Kilash. I think the ride would be exhausting but we would cover very beautiful parts of southern Tibet from east to west. It would be a three week journey divided by four people about resulting in about $500. per person to hire a car and permits stuff not including 150y per day for a guide. It is quite a long journey and everyone is keeping possibilities open.

Nate seems to be for it but Stef keeps going back and forth. She also kept asking him for input and then cutting him off whenever he spoke. She mentioned how cool it would be to travel alone like me unlike her with her boyfriend just to upset him. And so to get back at her mentioned how he'd like to ditch his girlfriend. They're a trip and quite a pair. Mt Everest, I hear has been cloudy, so it has been difficult to see the ridges. To get to the base camp there are different cost involved and also to go hiking to different Ks it cost $100. per person plus all the gear and hauling. We decided to x off any possibility of doing the Ks due to cost and out of season consideration. If it doesn't work out and I don’t end up going to Kilash, I won't cry. It's like the Kalaulau trail of Kaui, it's worth waiting and doing it right. I don't care to do other trails as a compromise just to back pack. In case this group thing may not workout with this group, I may have to join another group or create another group or just drop the whole idea.

We had lunch together and everyone really likes the fact that I spoke fluent Mandarin and wanted to take me everywhere as their translator. In fact there were talks of post Tibet travels together. I was not ready for that far into the future. I am only able to do one day at a time and having to think of the next week, that is the most amount of planning I’ve done so far into the future. I have to because it involves hiring a car and a driver, money etc…

We then walked some more to locate a 3.5yuan per hour internet cafe. Last night at my hotel it was 8y per hour. At this internet place, snacks vendors walk by to sell you food and drinks. I feel like I am in a casino but instead of cards and wheels it’s computers.

Stef wanted to have Indian food for our dinner meeting to discuss our possible trip together. Since Indian food is so available in Berkeley I was not enthusiastic about it. But for my Colorado female friend, it's a big deal. I just hung out just because I could even though I was not all that interested in socializing. And it was 23yuan for a full course Indian meal which is expensive for Chinese standards but it only comes out to 3 or 4 dollars for dinner. But the food was terrible and it was not what I would call Indian food. I think I am just spoiled by the abundant Indian food selections to choose from.

Although I have been with a lot of people and met a lot of people and surrounded by people everywhere and been socializing, somehow hanging out with dinner friends was exhausting to me. I think some people just create that, they demand so much of your attention and talking a lot about nothing, in a very ungrounded manner. After dinner Brian was nice about walking me back to my dorm in the dark and in the rain. I was glad that he did that. I didn’t want to walk by myself at night. I was very happy to be back in my room. I had the whole room to myself.

Ditched at the Lhasa Train Station

I woke up at 4am having only slept 6 hours I was very tired. Thoughts ran through my mind reflecting on how I take care of myself or not. I recalled experiences where I pushed myself to continue forward when I am tired too tired or scared refusing to pay attention to my exhausted body. How I force myself to ignore my sensitivity because somehow I categorized it as inconvenient timing and could be bothered. I thought of my silly fears, my silly worries that consumes me. I questioned what or who I do I lean and depend on in my life and what is independence and what is dependency. I decided to get up for a sip of hot water and try to get more rest.

At around 7am we came across a critical section that everyone warned me about. In this section, the pressure change is dramatic for 20 minutes. I was told that if I make it through without significant ill symptoms then I won’t have trouble in Lhasa. The way to adjust through this section is to plug the tube into the oxygen outlet and inhale lots of oxygen. The pressure was felt on my chest in my lungs and my lower extremities. I felt the extra oxygen supply was what did it for me. It totally helped to me acclimate.

The snow capped mountains outside my windows looked like powdered sugar on chocolate truffles. The water looked like blue crystal with pieces of mirror in it. It was all very beautiful way to start a day. I had tea, crackers, and an apple pear for breakfast.

I spent the rest of the morning reciting the Surangama Mantra. It was an historical moment because it was the first time I enjoyed reciting the mantra. All the times before I struggled and it was torture for me to make it through the mantra but now there is a sweetness I feel when I recite and I do it in joy and peace now, finally.

I had lunch in the dinning cart and met a guy from Colorado named Nate who was traveling with his girlfriend Stef. We talked about possible things on our to do list in Tibet. I learned along with the permit he had to get to buy a ticket into Tibet was a tour he had to be signed on. This tour wasn’t a guided tour but a 3 day hotel arrangement and a pick up at the train station. I went to visit his cart and his cart was full unlike mine. I liked the spacious cart I was in.

In the afternoon there was a crowd gathered around me all discussing how I would get around in Tibet on my own and where I would sleep. They were serious concerned for me and I found it all to be cute. They were still nagging me for carrying all that food. People offered to help me onto a bus and then helping me to locate a place to sleep afterwards

When I got off the train I found it to be cold in Lhasa. Everyone rushed out upon 4:30pm arrival. I walked with the Inner Mongolian friends who invited me to join them but they were cold and distant. I talked to the guy Yan and he told me to find my own way. Yup, they ditched me. By this time, everyone else had rushed out of the station. I quickly chased after them but I was too late, I wasted too much time walking with the Mongolians. I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I spotted my Tibetan Princess friend and stood by her. I told her I would like to ride with her into Lhasa downtown. She negotiated in Tibetan how much money it would cost to drop us off at the door. It was decided that we would pay no more than 10 yuan each. We hopped onto a truck and sat with two other men. They were all interested in my friend and she kept her cool all during the ride. Since I didn’t have a designated hotel to go to, I was dropped off on a main busy street to find a hotel.

Having had a short rest and adjustment to the elevation, I was tired and taking short breathes. Had on two packs and one hand bag, I was tired and I didn’t have a place to stay. I walked into Snow Land Hotel and came across three French girls who was looking for a third person to join them on their 7 day trip to Everest and Namtso Lake that would depart on Thursday the day after tomorrow. I had just arrived and was not prepared to make such a decision. Somehow I had already had my heart set on visiting the Potola Palace before I do anything else. So I didn’t take their offer right away and would think about it some more. They were staying at the Yak Youth Hostel.

I decided to keep walking and came across two Israelis who were staying at Shangbala Hotel for 30 yuan a bed at the dorm facility not in the hotel. I settled for this place because they had a phone card phone in the main lobby where it was heated. I wanted to stand in the warm room to call my family to let them know I was in Tibet. The last that they had heard from me was back in Xi’an. Plus it was already sun down and I didn’t want to walk in the night on my own with all my luggage on. The room was nothing fancy or even economically clean looking. I was within walking distance to Potola Palace and markets. And they had running hot shower all day long here. I was just happy to drop my bags off and be on a main walking street close to everything. I took a very long shower. I am learning how attached I am to bathing and access to hot water. I waited late into the night to call my family in US, I thought I had the correct time zone difference all calculated but I was still off and woke people up too early in the morning. But it was late for me and I was very tired.

It’s amazing, on the phone my mother was very nice to me and even gave me her blessing for this trip. She said to me in her mother nurturing way, ”Since you are already there, have fun, do it all and have no regrets.” What a drastic change from, “What! You are going on a trip! You haven’t earned it! Young people need to invest their youthful energy into their career and not traveling like you! Come back after your stay in Beijing!”