Freak Out Spinning

So many things traumatize me. I freak out over so many things and I become so easily overwhelmed, immobilized, paralyzed .

Why does the room spin when I try to memorize things? Is it the content or the activity of memorizing? This has been the case since I can remember. So I like to memorize things laying down, the room does not spin so much. But I run into the risk of falling asleep.

Everything felt so much safer, calmer when I opened the Surangama Sutra. All these images of threats, abuse, fear, anger, rage, violence flashed one after another and was arousing tension. What the healing would heal? It could heal all these past and past life pains. It could end the terror and the threats.

Some times

I went to visit someone going through rough times right now. I really didn't know what I could do to help her. I had many things in my mind in terms of ideas. But when I got there I realized some times the best thing you can do for someone going through traumatic rough times is... wash their dishes, clean their house, take out the trash, pour them a cup of tea, stock their fridge and be a good pleasant company. Don't tell that person what's wrong with them and how they need to fix it from my point of view. Some times, good company is all one needs to warm up the heart and the house that seems to be in the cold dark ages.