What is Cool?

Day 6

I was down at the Can by 6:30am.  Thomas was already making his own waffles.  Stacy and Loc just left for the day to do things in town.  I had waffles with Marion berry jam.  I sat with Henry and chatted on  the past year catching up on our lives.  We pretty much just have this time, once a year during work week to do this.  He is a great, good person.   I am grateful to have such affinities to come across such a good person this life time. 

Henry got a call from Loc  to run the day.  We all gathered outside around Henry and Myra who reminded everyone what had to be done today and checked on with everyone to communicate challenges or needs.  I was so proud of him to step forward from his shyness and lead everyone as he is skilled and experienced to.  He’s been at this place since day one of the beginning of this retreat years ago and he knows a lot.  He is a good friend and doesn’t like to tell his friends to have to go to work.  But then that means more 12 hour days and he can’t do it all himself.  It just won’t get done in time and he might break his back in the process. 

I was so exhausted in the afternoon I couldn’t focus so I put earplugs into my ears and listened to music to focus.  I had to get dinner ready for the rest of the seventy five people arriving around dinner time.  Tomas was up for kneading the dough.  For two hours everyone else was on assembly line for making pot stickers, samosa, and fresh spring roll.  

The subject of what is cool came up.  Thomas said, “being cool is breaking rules.”  I said, “Bodhisattvas and Buddhas are cool.”  Myra said, “Jesus is cool.

Fabrizio arrived with his daughter Lauren this afternoon after a long drive from Canada.  Toure and I helped them get settled in.  Valerie’s love and kindness radiated with a warm welcome to Lauren.   Toure was very transmedium during tent setup.  It means something is about to go down, wrong on his end and he is pretending to not notice or acknowledge his karmic hand in the chain of seed to fruit. 

The shopping van returned and everyone jumped to unloading and organizing it all.  It was amazing to see.  I took this time to rest my feet.  I didn’t really eat.  I think I was too tired.  Instead I just stayed hydrated.  It was lovely to see everyone arrive safely. 

Barely Held Together by Magic Tape

Day 5

I woke up at 6am and quickly got the waffle batter going for breakfast and started the dough for pot stickers on the bread machine to do the kneading. 

I could barely stand after lunch, I didn’t want to cook but I began making dinner anyways.  I don’t know, this body just keeps going, barely held together by magic tape.  My mind was totally unable to turn gears.  I couldn’t think.  It’s okay, I have things organized on paper, I didn’t have to think.  I can just lean on my preparation. I can trust my organization.      

The water heater valve broke.  Henry had been working for twelve hours and he was exhausted.  Loc looked at the matter and Henry with a lot of care and gentle nurture, no edges what so ever.  I am surrounded by beautiful people, beautiful nature.    

Had To Do Better in Our Thoughts

 Day 4 

I woke up at 3:45am to pee.  The stars were amazing.  It was a warm night, I wore only one layer.  I was down at the Can by 6am.  I put laundry into the washer, it was a full load.  After setting the washer going I sat in the car and did morning ceremony.  Then I continued to sit in the car and fell asleep.  I got out of my car when everyone else started to show up for breakfast.  I began making chili, salsa etc.. for our Mexican lunch.  

One of the staff came to discuss the issue of how we all speak Chinese and we are sitting gender separate, that someone new to the crew may feel left out.  So we changed, we mixed things up.  It’s good to communicate.  We get so caught up in catching up trying to get things done as soon as possible that we miss some basic things at times, some basic human touch things.  We are so used to being around people who speak multiple languages that we just mix it all in and forget that not everyone is so.    

We also discovered Henry’s wife Myra is a very shy and sweet, but amazing artist and a great chef.  She made me a heart shape chocolate chip pancake.

After lunch I felt super exhausted, I was in need of a nap.  But I had to move my tent out of my yearly site and into a new one, which I didn’t mind, I just want it quiet wherever I am so I can sleep.  I didn’t get to nap, I just had time to lay down for a bit and take a break from standing on my feet. 

Tonight after dinner we all went up and sat in meditation for forty five minutes.  I got a lot of mosquito bites in the mediation hall.  My ankle managed to survive the criss cross sit.  It was all I could manage with the injury.     

Marion, Orlan, Connie and her brother Michael showed up during mediation.  Connie showed up with her guitar. 

Today a tent broke in transport from the Can up to the campground area.  Any abstract energy tension in this case is manifested in real time and reflected on the tangible external world.  This alarm rang like a big bell throughout the land.  All of us as Buddhist nonviolent practitioners knew better and as staff with responsibilities, we were too well experienced and trained to be in denial.  People reflected on such a manifestation.  It was a sound of alarm for this community and we all knew and had to pay attention and do better in our own thoughts and harmony in working with each other.   I am glad no one physically got hurt today.      

Two staff apologized on behalf of the group for the lack of professional work performance up to date and have yet to pick up the slack on the work load.  I feel blessed to be with people with honest amazing hearts full of integrity.  

The work week is hard work.  You have to love hard work to be happy here.  You do what others don’t want to do.  You do what others can’t do.  You are selected and invited to work week for the strengths you can contribute.  We meet once a year.  People show up in which ever condition they are in and we as a group must adjust each year on the spot to fill in.  It means some people are able to sneak in three hour breaks and naps while others work 15 hour day.  And if you are doing the 15 hour day, it’s your test to not let negativity rise in regards to fellow crew or the retreat itself.  That’s just how it is.  It’s never boring.    It’s what you agree to when you sign up.  

Don't Love to Cook But I Couldn't Wait to Cook

Day 3

Couldn’t wait to get cooking on making sushi lunch, miso soup, Japanese potato salad.  I made 17 rolls.  I cut down on my original menu and quantity.  People didn’t seem to be as hungry as last year’s group.  Half of the crew seems super burnt out, tired, and not 100% in health. 

I made curry dinner right after lunch.  Curry tastes better after hours.  With it was bread, fried okra, mint chutney salad, and fried papas. 

Lights out at 10:30pm.

I Just Love Being in the Zone

Day 2

Henry’s truck rolled in at 1:30am.  Stacy, Tina and I went to Safeway to buy supplies because all the food stuff is in Jason Kung’s truck and he is not due to arrive until late tonight somehow.  It was cheaper to buy frozen and canned than the fresh produce.  Plus the fresh produce wasn’t very fresh.  So I had to create menu on the spot and decided to make sandwiches and roasted potato with minestrone soup. 

Dinner menu: leftovers with casserole with peach cherry strawberry blueberry cobbler.  For dinner we sat outside in the meadow with candles, it was a lovely evening. 

Contrary to what people think, I don’t actually love to cook.  I love the zone of focus and concentration in cooking.  I love the inspiration that arises and expressed through cooking.      

Loc and Billie arrived at 8:30pm right as dinner began.  This retreat really feels like a reunion of spirits and hearts here each year.  It feels complete like a circle when people show up.   

Jason Kung and James arrived at 10:30pm and we unloaded the supplies.  The guys seemed puzzled over what all the welcome was about, in truth it was joy over the arrival of food and not having to go shop for another day of meals tomorrow.

My ankle hurt so much today I had to sit in front of the stove and cook.   

Silver is Still Alive!

Day 1 

I woke up super tired, ill to the belly, and a cold prickly acidic feeling.  I heated hot water for tea to warm up my belly.  I had extra hot water left and nowhere to put it.  I ended up hugging it to warm up my body. 

Contemplating the annual Buddhist Sutra Meditation camping retreat I am to enter today, I had this prayer.  In service, my hopes are for all to grow strong, to transform, to transcend the upside down ways of the mind that creates karmic habits of Saha world. 

I woke up with a sore back and I woke up tired.  I just want to rest some more. The seaweed sweet potato porridge was awesome, just what I needed.  I so needed this meal seven days ago.  I juiced all the oranges and it was a perfect 32 oz. 

I rolled off at 12:15pm, I was already sweaty, dirty, and gross from packing.  The staff tried to clean my site all morning but checkout was 1pm and I had plenty of time to take my time.  The maintenance crew here runs the place like hotel crew.  They all zip out at 10am from somewhere and see each other once a day, check in and then get to work. 

I pulled over at Coosbay at McDonalds to get on the Wireless.  It was lovely to receive mail from my brother in law Andrew offering  phone card access incase I run out of phone minutes.  I parked next to a single mom with two teenage daughters.  The mother and older daughter sat in the car while the younger one shared a smoke with same age boy leaning on the mom’s car.  It was a strange sight to me.  That the mother would approve of the smoking and that all three of them were on a date at McDonalds.   

The drive from Coosby to Reedsport was long and exhausting somehow.  I just felt lots of static interference hitting me at once.  I don’t even know how I made it to the retreat safely and how I managed to stay awake. 

I pulled into the Lower Smith River road and it looked different every year.  I wouldn’t have recognized it by the scenery.  When I pulled into Half Can, Silver didn’t greet, he was no where around.  I wondered if he was alive.  I felt Matt was sleeping.  Everything was locked and I needed to pee bad.  I didn’t want to pee on monastery grounds even though we are camping, but I had drank so much OJ.  So I packed my tent and squeezed through the fence and gate, which was also locked.  I hiked up the hill and set up my tent and dried the space blanket.  I can tell the men will have their work cut out for them.  There just is so much to do to get this retreat space set up for the mass to arrive in a few days. 

I asked the same site as usual for permission to rest there.  It’s always nice to get permission.  The bed was covered with soft and tender needles.  If it wasn’t for the twigs and rocks I’d just sleep on it as is.

I enjoyed my stroll down the hill back to Half Can.  I liked this quiet alone time any time of the day.  This hill, maybe it’s the angle of steepness, it commands respect for quiet contemplation.  Usually I am just too tired from a lot of work that I can’t take in the details of the hill.  This very moment might just be my only chance to take it all in on this once a year retreat. 

I had planned to hike a few more times to carry the rest of the stuff on my back.  When I got down to the Half Can Silver was there whimpering.  “He’s alive!” I happily thought, “thinner but alive.”  The doors were open and I saw Matt cleaning.  He looked like a monk with hair.  His face looked holy in this moment of solitude in cleaning. 

We sat underneath the tart Granny Smith apple tree and chatted.  When he chatted he had rage in his eyes and face.  He talked about high school friends and how he went to his 50^th reunion at the age of 73 and how his peers have jet setting jobs, lifestyle etc..  He didn’t’ see himself as successful of a person in Turtle Mountain as a steward.  That he had a few panic attacks this years and took himself to the hospital.  When he was in this negative emotional state he looked like a layman, totally off centered, ungrounded, needy, clingy dependant. 

So I didn’t do my second or third hike in my bad ankle.  I was saved by the presence of Stacy and everyone else’s arrival.  I was glad I didn’t show up any earlier than I did because I could not handle Matt or Silver’s emotional dispositions.

 I watched Stacy, Tina, Alice get out of the car and I noticed how harmonious they were.  I was happy to have such a good start to begin this retreat. 

Dinner was noodle soup for simplicity.  Elaine and Tina showed up with Yip and Sim.  Yip is eating one meal a day.  Sim is Vietnamese form Hungry who has been learning Mandarin in CTTB the last 6 months.  She is very helpful but tries to run the kitchen without experience in general or knowledge and is lost in translation, so it was a bit overwhelming for me to work with her. 

Matt started to get going when people arrived.  Some people do need others to jump start their stagnant slump. 

The washer was clogged and I couldn’t do laundry. 

There was issues from last year and stuff gets lost in communication in translation and distance that it was best to just follow Stacy’s instructions on how to handle supplies this year in order to avoid more drama.  I didn’t get to shower tonight.  The shower has yet to be cleaned, it’s been a whole year since it was last cleaned.  I should have showered before I left camp this morning.  We ate dinner  in candle light. 

I noticed both Silver and Matt were both off this year, I wondered if their life line was coming to a closure. 

Two tents were set up for Henry’s truck in the Can so when they arrive they can just roll their stuff into the Can and just go to sleep.  All of Elaine’s crew’s stuff is on Henry’s truck, so they sat above in the loft for the night because even the loft has yet to be cleaned.  

He Had Been Dead For the Past Twenty Years

Day 50 National Park 2011

 I woke up with total exhaustion from tension and pain from last night.  I recited Great Compassion Mantra and I felt the relief.  I felt lighter and it worked.  I was chilly, I knew I wanted and needed to get up for sunrise but I didn’t get up until 5am.  I made hot tea and drove to the lighthouse for sunrise on the beach.  The scenic view of this morning’s sunrise on the horizon was not what I had expected. On the moon there was a kind of a spot light and everything else was fog.  I sat and drank tea, watched the fog and thought about Native Americans, surrounding chi, and all the drug and alcohol.  Then I went to use the vault toilet and it wasn’t a terrible experience, not as bad as Altaire Campground, that was enough for a lifetime.

 I reflected on my internal chatter, how this and that needed to be right.  Then I connected to how this sets things up for others to be wrong and to be corrected.  The opposite is true too.  They are both on the ends of a teeter totter.  I am still on the teeter totter of struggle.  I don’t need to be right or wrong.  I want to be out of it all.  “Just shut up!” was what I told myself, and then the pressure on my chest lifted. 

I drove one mile back to camp.  The best part about this camp isn’t the sites, nor the light house or the beach or even the town of Bandon.  The best part is the closed beach hours from 10pm-7am and during that time you can have the entire beach to yourself.  It is super cold, windy, foggy but it’s just you and that’s nice.  Lot’s of people camp here, but very few are on the beach. 

I made boiled pasta and crumpled chips into it, tasted surprisingly good.  10 am is hustle and bustle time, all the volunteer crews were out cleaning, picking up trash, etc..  It’s quite an amazing process to see.  There were a lot of volunteers and they are all very nice. 

I drove to old town and parked right in front of the Cranberry Candy store.  The one Harold stressed I should go to.  Everything was yummy.  They had tasters for everything.  What a dangerous place!  All the kids who step in, their eyes light up like Christmas lights.  The staff was pleasant and wonderful.  It is a harmonious place.  I bought CranMarion Berry juice no sugar for $9.75 each.  They gift wrapped it for me.  The women at the store drew me a map of where the blueberry farm is and where to go for wifi at the café and to go to Misty Meadow for jam and honey etc..

I walked to the café and bought a cup of water for tea for $1.15.  I poured in my own Darjeerling tea leaves.  All the staff who worked at the café had really good healthy energy and was pleasant to be around.  I was really impressed. 

I chatted with my sister and realized the dream I had the other day of family and the dog were family distress and disharmony that was physically taking place in real time. 

Today was a good down time day.  I was not feeling well today.  I went to Misty Meadows and bought $100. worth of Jam for gifts.  Now how to get it all home?  I felt really ill when I was done and very tired, low and slow chi and heavy chi.  So I recited Heart Sutra over and over until I reached camp.  I was glad to somehow made it back to camp in one peace, all ten whole miles.  I laid on the hammock and breathed, coaching myself to relax into the illness.  I felt better and got up, ate blueberries, cherries, bread and eggplant.  Then I laid on the hammock some more.  I didn’t make it over to the blueberry farm, I was just overwhelmed and sick. 

Kim came to invite me over for kimchi, rice, hot spicy Korean soup.  I passed, I was stuffed and I really wanted to use the time for more recitation.  Kim watches and looks out for me.  She watches me with curiosity on how I can be alone traveling for fifty days all camping on my own. She finally figured out that I make myself comfortable with things l like, hammock, tea, writing etc…  She said she missed home where she knows how to make herself comfortable.  She always gets the same campsite each year and books it nine months out to ensure it because this site is full every night.  She was impressed on how I know how to tie my own hammock.  So I showed her the only knot I know.  She said I should look into buying a mini camper.  I can barely reach the gas peddle of a mini van and a mini camper will be even worse. 

Kim was born in Korea and was adopted and raised in Kaui.  She lived in San Francisco where she met Harold.  She doesn’t speak Korean and barely cooks Korean food and doesn’t really like seaweed.  But everything about her is Korean, how she does her hair, how she moved her body, even her accent from Kaui is Korean English, isn’t that amazing.  She brings bird seeds and feeds birds each year she comes here, so all the birds love to flock here.  She also brings peanuts, I see the shells at my site. 

The sound of the creek right behind my site was music to my ears at the Humbug Campground.  Here at this site the ocean waves are right behind me too. 

The fog finally cleared at noon and was sunny the rest of the day.  Still the coastal wind was very chilly.  I dashed to the light house to watch the sunset.  The horizon was getting blanketed with thick clouds straight across.  It was like five waves out and creeping in, in the form of fog.  It looked like a tsunami wave.  I felt scared, like the end of the world.  A bit of orange and blue hint lingered and feathered the rest of the sky.  Then a fog above it all grew doom on everything in the short span of half hour and the sky grew dark grey and I got scared and drove back to camp with very little visibility.  

I got into the B loop behind a RV towing a trailer of three dirt bikes.  They found their site and unhooked the trailer, backed the RV into their spot.  They saw me waiting and two men tried to roll the trailer off the narrow loop road.  They needed more people but they rolled it anyways.  It hurt my back just watching them push.  Then finally a third person appeared to help and clear the road for cars to pass. 

I went for the shower and tried a different stall.  The water was lukewarm.  I was once again cold and shivering.  Towards the end it got warm and I stopped shivering.  As I dressed the shower drain burped sprinkles of gutter shower water and splattered onto me.  Gross!  I went to the restroom where there was an outlet to blow dry my hair.  Another woman with red shoes while brushing her teeth spoke her internal dialogue with her mouth full of tooth paste as if she had an audience listening to her.  I politely said good night and ran. 

 

I came across April’s father who told me he was up until 4:30am.  That he had been dead for past twenty years but he is now alive.  So all those nights of talking at the campfire way beyond quiet hours paid off and the fears of the daughter subsided.  The father had been revived!  The magic of campfires!

I put on more layers including socks for bed, it’s cooler tonight.  I was tired and I just wanted to go to bed.  I am amazed at how physically exhausted I felt all day.  

   

Pretty Tiny Green Frog Size of a Toe Nail

Day 49 National Park 2011

I woke up at 4am and packed up camp.  I headed out for Battle Rock for sunrise.  I decided I would go straight to Bandon after and not return to Humbug that I needed to be at Bandon's Bullards beach campground no later than 9am.  I stopped by the restroom and made tea for sunrise.  I parked at the parking lot and saw fog blanket everything.  It was beautiful, and not what I thought for a colorful red sunrise.  I sat and just drank tea and looked out the horizon. 

I contemplated about karma, how it is still the same regardless who notices, who approves or disapproves, who recognizes or not.  It can’t be taken away because of this person’s story or spin on things.  None of it matters.   

Then I felt a depression, a weight on my chest and my mind drifted into dreams of drama, my mind wanders out of fear and reacts in the form of control.  This is movement of darkness within the mind.  The weight lifted when I realized this thing encourages harm and fear, not fearlessness, safe stability and peace.  So I stopped and the weight lifted from my chest. 

I stopped at the grocery store to get rosemary La Brae bread and I didn’t really like it.  I rolled into the campground at 9:14am.  Bob at the kiosk highlighted six sites on the map for me to choose from.  I asked for his recommendation so I didn’t have to do the run around.  He said out of these choices he liked B41 because there are neighbors to the left and right of the campsite.  He insisted I check it out and verify it before committing because people haven’t checked out from site B41 and I can’t register yet.  I drove to look at it and confirmed it.  It’s all tight sites here and packed in like parking lot spots.  People brought their giant RV and are holding their extended family reunions in these sites hanging Christmas lights and Dish TV etc..  I sat until 11am when I was able to finally set up the tent.  It was good I got to the kiosk early because the line got popular and long after me. 

I also visited yurts, I saw each yurt had three beds with heat and no cooking is allowed inside, it’s just $36 a night, what a steal.  The volunteer grounds crew said they reserve the yurt 50 people conference room once a month for volunteers potluck.  What a good idea.  This is a popular campground and there is a lot of staff keeping the place tidy and fast. 

While I sat in my car waiting for my site to vacate, I saw a big plump dog walk by.  In my mind I wondered if it was a dog or a pet mini pig.  I thought, “fat” and then felt the hit in my stomach.  The dog heard that and snapped back, threw crap in my third chakra.  All of it was true, I wasn’t mocking it. 

I set up my tent and hammock.  I moved the picnic table to a nice spot.  I am so excited about the hook up box.  I plugged my long extension chord in and heated the water and charged everything.  I used the induction stove all day.  I cooked napa cabbage in hot and sour sauce then the mung bean noodles in sate sauce. 

I saw a tiny little green frog the size of toe nail on a neighbor’s hook up box.  It was beautiful.  When I drove around the loop, I saw lots of little children on their bikes circling around the loop.  I watched how the older child upon seeing a car will stop, drop his bike and move to roll the little one out of the road in quick urgency.  I find it amazing and beautiful to see. 

I was so tired I took a nap from 2pm-5:45pm.  It was a great nap

My next door neighbor is from El Dorado County, a German man named Harold and his Korean Kauian wife Kim and their two dogs.  Kim gave me seaweed from Oregon beach.  I sat in their campfire and we chatted all over , Harold and I.  Seriously, I can like be silent for months and then I can just jump from that and chat nonstop.  I gave them a box of beautiful delicious Belgium chocolate but I found out Kim was allergic so I gave then cherries instead and Kim said she was hopping for cherries to begin with.  Harold told me about berries to pick in the area.

Oregon for the past few days was a good public, crowd, community, assimilation.  I am okay, I am not feeling too overwhelmed.  I do appreciate 10pm quiet hours.  It is too much all day long, human noise, human activities and all the chatter and interaction.  I was stuffed at 10pm and so I decide to write postcards, all nine of them to send and I charged my batteries.  It was after midnight when I was done.  I went for my shower.  It felt cool for the cold evening ocean temperature.  I had goose bumps and shivered as I showered.  The sensory light went off part way and I tried not be scared during the shower and I was.  I just jumped out of the shower and turn my headlight on.  The sensory light kicked back in.  I hope to not get sick over this.  Shower is included in the camping fee too. 

At 1am, April, John and Dad and the rest of the family were still talking.  It’s good that they have good relationships like that to bond over family.  Sharon, the sister complained yesterday of the quiet hour volunteer patrol who came by to remind them it was quiet hour.  She connected to when she was six years old and in Yosemite, she happily set up a squirrel trap on the trail and a ranger on his horse told her it was illegal.  That shock crushed her and she still has issues of park authorities today.  I can’t believe in her 50’s, that she is still carrying that and said she still has issues with authority over it. 

Then I wondered what issues do I still carry?  How am I like Sharon this way?    

She Could Have Been Cindy Brady

Day 48 National Park 2011

The light house sounded all night in the fog.  I felt fully rested by 4am and got out of the car and stretched.  I sat on a pillow and covered my legs with a blanket to stay warm.   I was moved by the sunrise in the midst of fog.  I watched the sky dance in colors from 4am to 6am.  At 6am the ocean glistened and reflected the sky in jeweled colors.  And it was then I realized, sleeping in the car was all about this sunrise.  This was a perfect place to rest for the night. 

I decided to drive around and I found a beach access with public restroom.  Then I proceed to Port Orford and saw Battle Rock and I knew where I was and that I needed to get gas before I ran out.  There wasn’t much south of here for gas.  I asked the service guy where the next campground was and he said Humbug State Park that is 6 miles south.  I actually drove all the way out to Gold Beach because I still wanted to be on the beach.  Plus it was too early to set up camp in Humbug Campground because people were all still asleep.  When I circled the campgrounds, I felt the calm of the place and knew I could rest there.  I saw Gold Beach, it isn’t gold and I didn’t find the beach.  Most importantly I didn’t like the energy of the place.  At this point I was pretty close to the boarder of California.  I turned around and drove back to Humbug.

At Humbug State Park Campground I drove around the loops three times.  It was fully packed.  There was just one empty site from last night #8 and it was still empty.  Everything felt not prefect about each site and this particular one, too small, that too tight etc…  But I felt it was about the neighbors and people I will come across that was of importance so I went for it and parked it. 

I met a little blond curly hair blue eyes girl who could have been Cindy Brady.  Her name was Amy, she was super cute and sweet.  She gave me the low down on the trail by the river, terrain by terrain and she is like 8 years old.  And that I am to call her name across the campground if I have any further questions.  She was on a pink bike.  But it wasn’t her beautiful clear sky blue eyes or her perfect blond golden locks or her flashy pink bike that drew the attention, it was her sincerity, genius, being at the moment, not needing any attention or have the need to impress others in her interaction and communication that was priceless, beautiful, pure and perfect.  I felt honored to be in the presence of this amazing soul in this tiny child body. 

I paid for my site and check out the facilities.  I did love how new it was and how clean and beautiful the place is.  I decided I would take two showers because I can.  There is no time limit and it’s included in the camping fee.  I so needed a shower.  I was happy about the sun on my site so my tent can dry and air out. 

My neighbor was from Oregon, a family of siblings without parents, young adults with their dogs and significant others.  They had a canopy with bug net and two gas grills, fire pit grill, along with a propane fryer. It seems like there is going to be some serious cooking.  I looked at the low propane stand and wondered if I will get one of those.  They all coughed and smoked nonstop.  A tight close family who reminisced about their father with love and there was no mention of the mother. 

I tried the soy chorizo from Grocery Outlet, I was not impressed.  But it was some form of vegan food and I ate it anyways.  I needed a nap but I decided to would drive 6 miles to Port Orford Battle Rock Beach and catch the low tide to see the star fish etc..  I parked and saw the tide was still not low enough for star fish petting.  I went into the visitor center and asked how to read the low tide chart and the staff said it is currently low tide and there are three hours before and after range to work with.  However the low tide today said two plus feet above zero so it is the lowest tide for the day but because it is above zero it isn’t low tide was thinking of, the kind that reveals star fishes and others.  The next segments of bellow zero low tide is mid to late this week for a few days.  I was informed of the ten resident whales sitting out by the rocks, they are the dark shadows in the ocean.  Because the sun is out it is hard to see them in the ocean that is a reflecting mirror under the bright sun.  With the wind, waves, and reflecting light, that early mornings are better for whale sighting, like around sunrise time. 

I drove back to camp and took a three hour nap.  I was so tired and sleepy that I slept with the rainfly open on both ends for circulation of heat and air.  When I woke up I ate berries and cherries and salad with olives and artichoke hearts.  It really hit the spot. 

At the trash can area I met Beth from Washington, Tom and their two dogs Bailey, a four year old beagle and Wilbert, a drooling hound who loves to put his paw on your face.  Beth and Tom are rock collectors.  They did Wyoming, and then Oregon for geodes and agates.  Tom is a 57 year old retired fireman who built his own cedar house on five acre land and built his own two ponds on his lot.  He likes to plant trees and plants.  He will uproot them off the road when he see them as he travels, much like rocks. 

 

Beth began meditating recently after two episodes of composting artery that closed and then reopened.  She survived both in four years and is happy to be alive.  Our conversation started with her comment on my skirt.  I said I wear it to air out the bottom.  Tom also coached soccer for girls.  We talked about their daughter, granddaughter, dogs, teaching, house code reinforcement, and how there is lack of shower access etc..  we went on and on.  I could have kept going and I needed to pee half way through our conversation but the conversations were too good to leave.  We also talked about headaches and rock healings.  I also talked about language and cultures and how it shapes anger and frustration and stress or the lack of.  There is anguish in Beth’s eyes that fazed in and out.  I pulled out a new bag of French truffles to celebrate her being alive.  They are lovely warm people who have a lot of love for others. 

 

Yup I am at this site in order to meet them who are across from me.  I had contemplated their site in the morning and felt, “What if an RV wanted to park here?”  They bought their camper for $8,000 in September and loved it.  Beth is good at training her dogs to be dogs with dignity and expect more from them and still set boundaries  for dog freedom. 

The RV next site over flagged me and said he was a retired CID for the military central intelligence division like CIA but for the military only.  He said he felt proud that his life service in the military was of worth when he sees single young women traveling alone feeling safe to do so.  I am happy for him and his vision and his heart of protection for everyone. 

Today I bothered to look into a box at my site and realized it was an electrical hook up box.  I didn’t have to go to the restroom all this time, in fact I could have plugged everything in but I just didn’t know because I didn’t check, silly foolish of me.

It’s amazing how I can just flip from solitary silence to a social chatter box just like that.  I’d say assimilation into civilization complete.

Why Isn't There an Abundance of Fruits and Vegetables In Oregon?

Day 47 National Park 2011

I was up at 6am and I rolled out at 7am.  I barely slept last night.  I shivered in bed for two hours before I decided to get up and add two more layers of jacket.  I hope this won’t get me sick.  On this lovely day the sky was clear.  I bid my goodbye to the state of Washington and Mount. Rainier National Park. 

I pulled over to Panamerican Farmers off HWY 12 and bought blueberries from blueberry farm.  It was yummy, large blueberries.  I also pulled over to a cherry stand and this stand had plump giant cherries for $5 a bag. 

The border of Washington and Oregon on both sides was difficult to cross.  I was a bit disoriented and the speed in which people move in scared me.  I made a decision to get onto i5.  A trucker behind me looked far enough for me to merge onto the highway.  But the trucker drove fast and it honked me from a distance for me to speed up, I floored my gas peddle but my car wasn’t going any faster.  

Portland is a port and I have learned on this trip I am not into ports and the energy of ports.  I got onto HWY 26 West and got gas.  I really love “no self service” at gas stations.  A guy pumped my gas and another washed my window.   There isn’t much going on in HWY 26.

It was 11am when I pulled into Taco Bell to use the restroom and eat.  It saddened me to see an old woman who should have retired but needs to work instead at a fast food place.  She was sweet, I liked her manners in customer service.  No one was rushed in their order decision process, no one was hustled and it was a long line.  I liked that.  There was attention and order to each person, an understanding and respect and everyone was willing to be patient for this decent civilized not so fast-fast food process because it was worth it.  She made you feel you were worth it and she too was worth the time and care in this transaction process.  It might be the only human interaction each person receives in a day that was treated with respect and just like that each person was honored.  You mattered just as much as the person behind you and that person behind too.  This was so beautiful to witness.  What gifts this elderly woman gave to all of her customers.  What an inspiration she is.  She is priceless and I am grateful to have been here to witness this. 

You would think in this amazing state of Oregon, so green, environment oriented, nature loving state that everyone would be vegan and that it wouldn’t be so hard to find vegetarian food or amazing produce, and at economical price.  Yup, it’s not like that, that exist in some fantasy, it’s not reality.  It’s difficult to even find fresh fruits. 

I finally arrived at i101 and head south.  I went from campground to campground and each was full.  I couldn’t believe it.  I didn’t like the energy in all the places until I reached south of Newport.  There were two beach state parks I liked just off the beach.  At Newport I took a happy break at Grocery Outlet to see what they had and use their restroom.  The restroom was lovely.  It’s these little things, they do matter and really make a difference. 

I was already at Reedsport and still I have yet to come across any vacant site.  I kept going south since I was four days ahead of schedule in meeting up with friends in Reedsport.  I drove past Coos Bay and sights of logging saddened me.  I was at Bandon and the Bullards beach state park was full too.  I was happy about shower there.  They only had biker site left and I had to walk in and was not allowed to park my car in the park.  It was a one way three plus miles on foot where I can park my car at the grocery store that allowed overnight parking.  The place was packed and each site was tight.  The nice National Park site spacing was all gone.  This place is an assimilation into civilization and mass public for me.  It was evident to me that I was not ready. 

I decided to proceed onto the beach and drive some more towards the lighthouse Coquille River Light formerly known as Bandon Light.  I saw a young man sitting on the beach in the midst of gusting wind and flying sand, alone and writing.  I parked at a picnic table and ate salad.  I went to the light house and watched sunset at 9pm.  What a lovely sunset.  I had to leave because the camp ranger locks the gate at 10pm.  The gates open at 7am. 

In the dark I saw in a distance headlights and I knew that was where I wanted to go.  I just didn’t know how to get there.  I drove and followed beach sign and because I knew I wanted to wake up and watch sunrise.  I parked at a circle facing the ocean and just slept sitting up in my car in the midst of beach houses.  I was happy to finally park the car and stop driving.  I was very tired.  I put all three sleeping bags on me to keep me warm for the night.      

Miles Driven: 496 Miles

Hours on the Road: 12 Hours  

Her Joy Was Contagious and Inspiring

Day 46 National Park 2011

I got up at 5am and brewed a beautiful cup of High Mountain tea.  I sat and thought about how the DRBA monk and nuns do it day in and day out.  I need the weekends, vacations, and summers off.  They just keep going all year long even in the winter Chan meditation.  The forest monks get three months rains retreat and regularly taking turns to take sabbaticals.  I just find them amazing and super human.  I feel defective in comparison, a weakling or something of that sort in comparison. 

I also thought about when I was six my mom told me to cherish book and knowledge as gold.  She wanted all her children to have a college degree and lead better lifestyle.  If only my mother didn’t give up on herself she too could have gotten more education as an adult and realize her childhood dream.  I wished the same for my father too. 

At 9am I went to the restroom and I saw the same teenage girls from China happily taking her time to take care of her skin by herself.  Last night her mother over saw her brushing and rinse of teeth like military training.  This morning she was on her own and her joy and efficiency of taking care of herself was inspiring and contagious for camping lifestyle. 

Camping is fun and good if you know what you need to take care of yourself.  It doesn’t have to be overwhelming drag of discomfort or inconvenience.  It’s only inconvenient if you are not prepared and don’t know what you need to be happy and stay healthy. 

Meditation and recitation today was about confronting struggles of forth chakra and below. 

I tried a can of Bartolli Roasted Peppers with crush Red Peppers for lunch, it was very gross.  I had to chuck it.  I ate cherries for lunch instead. 

I met a woman in the restroom and noticed she was lobster red.  She was washing and taking care of her skin and applying Neosporin on her skin.  I offered burn lotion to her.  Yesterday she did the hike to Muir Camp, base camp for Glacier Mountaineers, that is quite high in elevation.  She has been here since Monday and yesterday was the first sunny day and might be the only one for the week.  So she was not sun block prepared.    

Yesterday’s sun and today’s rain creates icy conditions along with fog.  Today I had plans to do that hike in snow without snow gear or ice gear.  I decided I didn’t need to climb Mt. Rainier in rain, wind, and fog on snow and ice without any snow gear. 

It is wonderful to listen to the quiet air and feel the cool damp overcast lighting on my skin.  I fell asleep during afternoon mediation.  My head was heavy.  It was a good rest and a struggle all in the same time.  I finally woke up two hours later. 

At 5pm I ate more cherries for dinner.  It’s been a very cherry day.  The blue sky was visible during this time. 

In front of the restroom an elder male was wetting his slab of pinewood, machine cut to the size of a long cutting board.  The bark was completely removed and he was wetting it to use it as a smoker.  What a good idea.  National Park wood is better than the ones from commercial stores.      

 

You know you are on the west coast when you see REI, Keen, Mountain Hardware, Osprey, and North Face products.  The rest of the country has access to other products that they are into.  It’s very different in the Rockies and Yellowstone. 

Belly was full of tea at 8pm and I was super wide awake with my nap.  It was a lovely night, a dry night.  I strolled around the campground.  The snow boots kept my feet toasty warm tonight on my stroll.  I stopped at the amphitheatre to listen to a ranger talk and decided I would continue on.  The stars were out tonight, what a treat!  The campground was lovely this evening.  I picked up a log of pine firewood that someone left behind.  It was a bit wet from today’s rain but it wasn’t bad.  I stacked it along with the rest of firewood I collected.  Collecting firewood from each place I’ve been in is a thing for me.