Day 40 National Park 2011
The tent is so damp that my
roll of toilet paper is damp and fluffed out of form. It isn’t
better in my car either. I hope my laundry won’t grow molds.
On the way to the restroom this morning I felt a cold
squishy slimy bump on my right shoe, then as I put pressure on the shoe, I
freaked out and kicked my shoe out. It flipped and I realized it was a
slug, I flipped it back onto its belly so it can continue to be on its
way. I
am glad I didn’t squash it in my shoe.
In the restroom, a young lady with brown hair came in and before she did, I found myself fumbling, dropping everything. It was her angry energy that was traumatizing. She didn’t sound angry. She didn’t look happy. She was loud and violent with her angry thoughts. Her aura smashed whatever that came across her. I hope she feel and thinks better soon. This is such a fantastic dreamy place, it’s such a waste to spend it in misery. 
The lighting at noon was beautiful today. As I sipped tea, two young male elk showed up with new young antlers. They grazed in front of me and then next to me. They proceed towards my tent and then along the river. They were gentle and startle easy. They were happy wagging their black tail wiping it round and round. This really is the best site to be at, sleeping in damp wet mud is worth it. I don’t need to drive all over the place to watch them, they come to me.
The short hour of bright green foliage passed as the sky grew dim grey at 12:20pm. I strolled around in the rain and did art. I don’t mind walking in the mud or cleaning the mud off. It's like a novelty.
Chatter entered
my mind in the afternoon. In my internal chatter that raced, it all sounded lofty and everything
well justified but I see through the lies, deceptions because they come from a
place of pain and grip. It
tries to sell me fake peace and equanimity but I won’t be fooled. It won’t be fooling anybody.
This cold damp
weather makes me want to meditate and do art. I couldn’t resist, I had to
draw the rage, anger and the twisted. I had to draw the poison, the
toxins, and the shadows that has been hiding and lurking.
The solo Colorado
young man looked so frail and brittle when he arrived on Wednesday. He looked most at peace building fire
for the night, cooking and reading his book. He looked all closed up and shut down,
very fatigued. Last night
another Asian middle aged man joined his fire. They chatted past midnight. When I saw him this morning, he was
responsive, sat straighter, looked stronger, and so I waved and greeted
him. I am glad to see he
got the rest and healing he needed. Today
he packed up and moved on. I
am happy for him that he is leaving better than he arrived. I wish him well. As he rolled off in his car, he waved
goodbye and smiled.
When I saw the numbers on the site board his number lit
up and I camped across from him. I was suppose to have
arrived today but I would have missed him. Maybe
that was why I had to get here on Wednesday too. Maybe
that was the healing he needed, company and support without mingling,
interaction, not even a slight acknowledgment of a nod or a wave. To
be doing the same things, mirrored but separate as individuals, without
conditions, or demands. Just so he knew he wasn’t
the only one pursing liberation through this method and somehow that in itself
was encouragement and support to keep going. He
too slept most of his time here and just sat in meditation of gazing into
nature. I am proud of him. As
I walked by his site, I noticed he forgot his rainfly. I
sent him a strong telepath to make a u-turn for his rainfly, he will need
it. I saw him cruising in joy to his next destination,
heading into Port Angeles.
A new neighbor brought a guitar. Lucky me, I
get to have music tonight, how delightful, what a joyful gift. I really
should dedicate time and learn an instrument, I do love music so much.
